What a terrible year of real hockey. I don't think the NHL has been so boring, so unwatchable, so painful to see star players mugged and held. Just flat out gross hockey. Anyways, so far Rob has been pretty close to reality with his predictions except for one notable exception, and that exception is..... #1
#1. (10-0) Los Angeles Kings - Undefeated. Unbelievable. Perhaps must importantly for Patrick Kane; Unadjudicated. Maybe he did it, maybe he didn't but he isn't going to court and he is on pace for 54 goals and 125 points this year. I seriously doubt he gets anywhere close to those numbers, but he is carrying this Kings team to the top of the pack. Facing the easiest schedule has helped as well even if this Kings team is the highest scoring. Even when Kane starts to fall off that pace Duchene will probably pick his sad sack up because he can't be Crosby level bad for much longer.
2. (9-1) Florida Panthers - It use to be the Blackhawks, then the Red Wings, and now these Panthers are the division nemesis I just can't beat. He has 4 players that are on pace to score north of 75 points and 2 of them are defensemen and the odd thing is (Subban and Karlsson) are more likely to keep that going than (Gallagher and Carter). He has Giroux lurking in the wings ready to help like a strip club bouncer that sees someone getting a little too handsy. Capn has got to be disappointed with Ryan Johansen and Strome. I figured these guys would just make the Panthers that much deadlier, but they are as deadly as a kitten's fart at the moment.
3. (7-3) Anaheim Ducks - These Ducks are taking the scenic route to a championship. Sure it is fun leading the league from start to finish, but once you have done that there is no reason to be a dick and do it 2 years in a row. So, 10 games in and the Ducks have lost 3 times. Good for 3rd place and less pressure. Tyler can now go back on that bacon diet without worry of a fantasy hockey induced heart attack. Seguin and Benn are probably the best tandem since Jagr and Lemieux. They both score, they are both playmakers, and they are both on the Ducks signed long term at bargain prices for what they do.
4. (7-3) Detroit Red Wings - 4th place without a single game played by Datsyuk. You can bet these Red Wings are going to be at the top all year long. I drafted some jerk goalie with the first pick in our draft and he has 19 points. Izaman drafts Panarin with the 5th pick and he is a top 40 player in our league now. Just think how much better they would be if they kept Dylan Larkin. Yikes. It would've been like winning the lottery and then getting to marry Ivanka Trump because of your newfound wealth. I guess just be happy you at least won once.
5. (7-3) Washington Capitals - This segment is called getting to know Oscar Lindberg. He was the 52nd pick in our draft this past year, a 2nd round pick by the NHL Rangers, and currently the 30th best fantasy hockey player. He has exactly 0% chance of keeping this up. He is shooting 28% and averages 12 minutes a game. Once he starts coming back to earth you would think Varlamov will be told not every game he plays in is an All-Star game and he doesn't have to make the shooters look good. I predict a drop from the Caps in the coming weeks.
6. (7-3) Carolina Hurricanes - I made many many trades this past offseason and where did it get me? Pretty much exactly where I was before. No closer to beating the Ducks or Panthers. If I were to list my most disappointing players in order it would go something like everyone on my team except Fleury, Pavelski and Gaudreau. I acquired Kopitar the season he stops shooting the puck. Moulson was supposed to play with Eichel but Disco Dan Bylsma is too clever to put the best shooter with the best passer. Alexander Semin was really bringing down the Canadiens by them going 9-1 in games he played, so Therrien benched him the last 6 games showing his team that he is still "not a player's coach" and the world that he is the Grinch that never had his heart grow 3 times its size.
7. (5-5) Boston Bruins - Getting raw dogged by the schedule so far. They have played the Blackhawks, Red Wings, Kings, Ducks, Avs, Canes and others. That is a nasty start any way you look at it. Cam Ward is only a starter because he is getting paid like a starter. In no other sport do teams just continue to shove garbage players out on the ice because they are well paid. Ward should be starting in the AHL not taking time away from Eddie Lack to develop. Bruins will probably fall back off this ace as Kyle Turris isn't going to score 46 goals this year and neither is Zuccarello going to score 40. The goalies will keep the Bruins afloat unless Lack rightfully supplants Ward then this carriage turns back into a pumpkin.
8. (6-4) Chicago Blackhawks - This team is only going to get more dangerous as the NHL Blackhawks are allowed to score some goals. But let us take a moment to talk about Byfuglien. He has straight lost any semblance of respect for other players. We already knew he didn't respect his own body (i.e. hippo proportions), but now he is just blatantly taking runs and cheap shots at folks. I kind of wish dedicated fighters were around and would just knock some sense back into his jaw a few times.
9. (6-4) Montreal Canadiens - You are looking at the default winner of the Canadian Division. With McDavid out for months the Oilers needed his nightly production but also the bump he gives the rest of the Oilers, along with HockeyFreak's goalies already performing so well there is no higher ceiling. These Canadiens will probably regress a bit because they are getting absurd production from bad players, and a few injuries will test their lack of depth. This division race is like witnessing a horse race where all of the horses break their legs and you have to watch the jockies pull their screaming bodies across the line to determine a winner.
10. (5-5) St. Louis Blues - The spitting image of how depth is important. They have so many high end guys in Steen, Tarasenko, Larkin, Stamkos with just dynamite goalies Lundqvist, Biship and Allen and yet they are the 10th best team because they don't have enough middle guys. My offer of 5 of my ok guys for Stamkos will be on the table until it is accepted.
There is an old Chinese proverb about something that seems threatening but in reality is not at all. These things are called paper tigers and describe the next two teams perfectly.
12. (7-3) Buffalo Sabres - 2nd place in the Northeast, but that is more of a mirage than statue. They are scoring at a pace that will lead them to a .500 record more so than a division champ. They will get buoyed by Bobrovsky because he can't be as terrible as he has been so far. The NHL Oilers traded a 2nd, 3rd, and 7th rounder to get Talbot who is playing to the same .890 Save% and 3.00 GA that Scrivens had last year. Great use of assets instead of you know using those draft picks to fix the high school level defensemen on a team of forwards that have no defensive accountability.
16. (6-4) Colorado Avs - Numbers don't lie and the numbers say the Avs are currently a playoff team. Unfortunately for Snugs there are other less nice numbers like there is still 4/5 of a season left and his lack of scoring will bring that record down, down, down to goblin town. Goblin town is not a place you want to be in just watch The Hobbit cartoon. Everyone, including me, thought trading way Malkin and Crosby was nonsense for the return, but Snugs must've been in on some summer coaching meetings to hear that the Pens were done playing entertaining offensive hockey and instead were going to rock the '03 Devils style.
