This just in. The Hurricanes, I repeat, the Hurricanes are #1 in these standings and your hearts and souls.
1.
$Hurricanes$ (7-3)
previously 2 - I've done it! It was a long road to the top and I don't wanna give it up. The MVP of my team and a man whose name means something like a group of deer. Cal Clutterbuck! Jeff Skinner has a concussion making watching the Hurricanes an illegal form of torture as described in the Geneva Convention.
2.
$Blackhawks (9-1)
previously 3 - Sometime last week Toews was top 5 in Goals, Assists, Points, Faceoff %, Shots, Pierre McGuirre "most captainy captain bj's" and being the best hockey player to ever sport muttin chops (see playoff beard pics). Also, I made up those statistics.
3.
$Boston Bruins$ (6-4)
previously 1 - The red hot Bruins are now more of an orange hot. Still very good just not immortal gods wearing hockey jersey's like they were for the better part of 6 weeks.
4.
Red Wings (5-5)
previously 5 - Every year I think this is the year the Red Wings will be too old to win. It sure as hell isn't this year either. 15 years ago they were trying to clone sheep. Why aren't the top scientists in Detroit trying like mad to clone Nick Lidstrom on some shady boat on lake Michigan where laws can't reach them?
5.
$Blues$ (7-3)
previously 6 - Jesus.... Their last week was frightening. 250 fantasy points, which might be a sin of gluttony. Basically Spezza, Stamkos, and Evander Kane went into a blind point scoring rampage and took no prisoners.
6.
$Avalanche$ (7-3)
previously 7 - Evgeni Malkin is tied for the league lead in PPG which means he is the best player in the world.... currently not concussed. I am starting to think that russians just don't care if they have concussions or not. They will just play right through them. French Canadiens though can't whine about them any more.
7.
$Ducks$ (7-3)
previously 6 - What's this? Is it a Haley's comet sighting? No, something just as rare. Zach Parise is playing top notch hockey again.
8.
Oilers (5-5)
previously 4 - A big slide down to the 8th spot. October and November are the months were young men get out to impressive starts. Then they get smashed for 2 months by grizzled veterans and crumble. The Oilers are falling apart faster than every NHL coach's confidence that they will have a job tomorrow.
9.
$Canucks$ (6-4)
previously 13 - Hey Oh! Welcome back Stanley Cup runners up. List of things I want to see this year from the Canucks. Henrik Sedin getting 100 assists, Daniel Sedin getting 100 goals and Roberto Luongo crying 100 tears when he is left to endorse only 1 product, a strainer. Letting most things through has been his dream for a long time.
10.
Flyers (3-7)
previously 9 - Giroux is out with a concussion. That noise you heard last week was Papps pulling his hair out and crying. Then blaming it on the Penguins and calling Crosby a crybaby for being out so long in true Flyers insanity.
11.
Sharks (6-4)
previously 15 - The sleeper pickup this year, dollars to donuts has to be Brian Elliot. Best .4m spent in fantasy hockey history. I will be asking Shelby to invest a large sum of money for me in a stock of their choosing if this continues.
12.
Capitals (4-6) previously 12 - I heard a great theory on the radio recently that pegs Ovechkin as a performance enhancing drug user, or at least previous user. The theory is look for players that drop off after playing in the olympics because of the stringent drug tests. 106, 92, 112, 110, 109, OLYMPICS, 85 and now 22 points in 30+ games. The proof is in the pudding and this pudding tastes like Horse testosterone.
13.
$Stars$ (5-5)
previously 14 - Things are finally catching up to these Fantasy Stars after a fast start. Good News for Tarheels55 is that Varlamov is playing so bad that Giguere might be the starter here shorly. Way to win that battle of attrition!
14.
Leafs (5-5)
previously 10 - Phil Kessel is clearly a witch or has witch fans.
http://www.rotoworld.com/articles/nhl/39518/109/The-Curse-of-Phil-Kessel!
15.
Kings (4-6) -
previously 11 - If we used Chinese year names, this would not be the year of the Kings but more like the year of firing coaches for crushing talent in a slow plodding system. Open it up out there in LA!
16.
Penguins (3-7) previously 16 - When Crosby is in these Penguins win. When Crosby is out these Penguins lose. This Crosby guy really is good or it is all coincidence. Go to the Penguins team fantrax page it looks like a dozen little swiss flags. So many injuries
17.
Canadiens (3-7) previously 17 - Whomp got super boned when the blackhawks decided to turn the team over to Ray Emery, a man who is best known for being a goalie more willing to punch opponents then stop pucks, while leaving young Corey Crawford to sit in the dog house. Bummer
18.
Sabres (4-6) previously 18 - What starts fast and ends with a whimper? Probably Thomas Vanek's love life, but definitely the Sabres season. There was more hope surrounding this team at the beginning of the year then in Tim Tebow's frighteningly optimistic mind.
19.
Lightning (3-7) previously 19 - I had high hopes for these Lightning, but with St. Louis out, Gagne playing like the waste of talent he is and Paul Stasny shrinking in the shadow of Matt Duchene there is no light at the end of that tunnel. Also, Dwayne Roloson has hit a wall, maybe a foreshadowing of Timmy Thomas in 10 years?
20.
Flames (1-9) previously 20 - Actually had 2 pretty good weeks in a row after those trades. Getting about 40 more fantasy points a week. I see a win in the Flames future mainly because Jarome Iginla is doing his normal waking up from his summer slumber to breath the crisp wintery hockey air which is like cat nip to him.
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