This is probably about as wide open as this league as been since the first year. The power teams this year have a bunch of losses already instead of cruising to undefeated records like the last 3 years. I hope there are a bunch of teams trying to add players and push for division titles.
Based on FPts scored and Team Name denotes current playoff teams
1. Vancouver Canucks (10-2) - Has 2 players that are nearly averaging a goal a game in Pettersson and Pastrnak. You can ask Cally, this offseason I predicted that Pettersson would be as good if not better than McDavid based on my projection model. This team is young, can score, has 3 starting goalies and with another scoring defenseman would be the out and out favorite to take home the DNHL championship. You know your season is going well when the mangled hands of Bobby Ryan are on pace for 20 goals and 55 points.
2. Colorado Avalanche (8-4) - This teams best players name sounds like the noise a kids dirt bike makes Ran-tan-an-en. So I predicted he stalls out, is forced to walk his way out of the woods, falls into an icy stream and contracts pneumonia. A thing that certainly did not happen to me as a child, and I don't hold any grudges against 2 wheeled motorized vehicles. You guys remember when Aaron Ekblad was supposed to be like the next dominate scoring defenseman? Then remember when Snug traded Crosby for him? I remember.
3. St. Louis Blues (8-4) - Their 4 losses weren't from an utter lack of scoring more from getting bulldozed by some bigly opponents. Why is Chabot still in their minors? He is the highest scoring defenseman in the NHL and sitting in the minors for the DNHL Blues? Must be some kind of rope a dope plan where the Blues eke into the playoffs and then unleash Chabot like a fart from a coffee can ruining all of our days.
4. Pittsburgh Penguins (11-1) - Elias Lindholm hasn't just turned a page, but written a whole new book coming over to the NHL Flames. Turns out playing with Gaudreau and Monahan will do wonders for helping you score (on and off the ice from what I've heard) (I havn't actually heard anything, but I figure people like hockey more in Canada than North Carolina, so that helps). That was exactly what I expected to happen for James Neal, instead he was placed on the 3rd line and the Flames PP is hot garbage. Casey DeSmith is starting a real goalie controversy. Turns out Matt Murray having his brain scrambled a half dozen times in his short career may be affecting his play.
5. Winnipeg Jets (8-4) - You'd think a team with Matt Murray and Carey Price wouldn't have to worry about their crease, but they may be the worst starting goalies in the NHL right now. Luckily he may have the best player in the NHL right now in MacKinnon. Dude looks like a rocket buffalo playing against those little bugs that scoot across the top of water, water scooters? The sentiment is he is crushing them. Also, it is nice to not hear stories about how Patrick Kane is assaulting women, but maybe that is exactly when we should be the most fearful.
6. New York Islanders (7-5) - This team has all kinds of overachievers on it. Jeff Skinner is on like a 90 point pace, Morgan Rielly - 101, Zibanejad - 72, Ryan "Freakin" Dzingel is on a 40 goal pace. I expect that will not continue. It is heart breaking to see Matthews hurt again. As a Crosby fan it sucked an egg seeing him miss so much time with concussions and a broken jaw. May they pump Matthews full of HGH, stem cells, horse semen and whatever else they can to create some kind of injury resistant one timer machine.
7. Philadelphia Flyers (11-1) - Recipients of the easiest schedule by far this year we'll be seeing some losses pile up when the rubber meets the road. Braden Holtby needs to shave his neck. He must be like a sheet of hair from head to toe, his appearance is exceptionally off-putting. Lots of unpleasant sounding names on this team as well with Tatar, Byfuglien, Hagg, Gostisbehere, Aube-Kubel, Ratcliffe, Pascal Laberge. This is the type of team that clips their toenails just right on the carpet and never picks them up. You are walking along and one of those pointy bastards jams you right in the foot.
8. Edmonton Oilers (7-5) - Frederik Andersen is the new Miikka Kiprusoff. He is going to start like 70 games, make between 32-28 saves a night and then eventually tears his groin to pieces after a long productive career. Until then though he is a monster goalie for these DNHL Oilers. Good thing Mike Smith is signed to a one year deal as it looks like his goose is cooked. Max Domi's goose on the other hand looks young and energetic (not sure how to flip that saying around). As always Claude Giroux can eat a bowl of radishes because he is the worst.
9. Toronto Maple Leafs (9-3) - Brady Tkachuk has made my predictions of him being an average NHL player look foolish. Watching him play he is just always in the thick of it in front of the net. He has quick hands and has so far put the biscuit in the basket as a local Pittsburgh commentator would say. There may be no happier player than Ryan O'Reilly. Languishing in Buffalo on a team that seems destined to be perpetually terrible he goes to St. Louis and is busting out. Kris Letang never seems to get much love for Norris votes, but he is the straw that stirs the NHL Penguins. He is like Ryan Suter if Ryan Suter were much prettier and could score goals.
10. Washington Capitals (4-8) - Probably should be around a .500 team. They have really found a couple of 1B starters in Rittich and Campbell. I'm not sure how long they will stick around being starters, but they are doing it pretty well right now and that will keep these Caps in the playoff hunt all year long. That and Ovechkin just pumping in goals. He never gets hurt. He is always scoring goals. For my money he is the greatest goal scorer I've ever seen. Some players scored more goals over a career, but those chumps wouldn't have been able to do it like Ovechkin (save Lemieux I just didn't get as many chances to see him).
11. Boston Bruins (6-6) - Zach Parise's geriatric back and Josh Baily are the top players here. You see that and you know the writing is on the wall for a retool. DNHL Bruins have been beset by injury though, so maybe they keep the playoff hopes alive (van Riemsdyk, Schultz, Brassard, Schenn). Donato didn't do anything at the NHL level, but is scoring goals in the AHL. He will draw back in and start scoring, don't worry about that #1 pick.
12. Buffalo Sabres (8-4) - A bunch of Adams division teams clumped up around these parts. William Karlsson's shooting percentage fell to reality faster than Marty McFly when he realized he slept with his mom. Jack Eichel is now the young version of Tavares. Stuck on a team that can't get him the help he needs to win. You can spend that Buffalo money anywhere though.
13. Chicago Blackhawks (5-7) - Nino Niederreiter's career really bothers me. He has all the tools to be a Selke finalist every year, but only gets 15 minutes of icetime a game. The NHL Wild have to be so vanilla to watch. Vanilla is okay when it wins, but wouldn't you rather have Moose Tracks Panarin and lose? I would.
14. Montreal Canadiens (6-6) - Not sure how these DNHL Habs are 6-6, but here they are. Marchessault has put them on his shoulders and carried this scoring devoid team to average. Time to sink or swim. Jeff Carter has to be better. Kotkaniemi will continue to improve and Reilly Smith needs to reproduce last years success to put them over the Bruins. Is there a worse contract in the NHL than Lucic's? He is the slowest looking 30 year old since myself right after I get a vasectomy.
These teams can trade their best players for my worst players in an effort to help them out for next year:
15. New York Rangers (3-9)
16. Nashville Predators (2-10)
17. Detroit Red Wings (3-9)
18. Vegas Golden Knights (3-9)
19. Ottawa Senators (1-11)
20. Arizona Coyotes (0-12)
