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Messages - GypsieDeathBringer
3101
« on: December 14, 2011, 09:09:36 AM »
Kris Letang and Zybnek Michalek are also out with concussions. My Pens fandom compels me to tell all about the reasons the Pens are playing poorly.
3102
« on: December 05, 2011, 12:30:40 PM »
It has happened.... A new number 1!
1. $Boston Bruins$ (6-2) previous 3 - All it took to bring the Bruins to first place was a historic month of averaging more than 4 goals a game and letting in under 2, also never losing in regulation. They can keep up a pace like that right? I will answer that, No.
2. $Hurricanes$ (5-3) still number 2 - Always the bridesmaid never the bride, second again. You all just wait until Cam Ward stars in a documentary based on his recent life called "The Hangover; 2 months of mediocrity, The Cam Ward Story" (they will clearly be sued based on naming rights).
3. $Blackhawks (7-1) previously 1 - It has happened all those animal sacrifices I've been performing with my grandma have brought down the unbringdownable. Only in this power rankings can you continue to win, have the best record and then be demoted to the 3rd best team. I'm sure gocubsgo7 will use some kind of excuse like "all my goalies are injured or don't start anymore". And I'd say, that is a pretty good excuse.
4. Oilers (4-4) previously 7 - I just read some article comparing the Oilers to the Penguins of a few years ago. I'd say the big difference is the Penguins had a goalie worth talking positively about. The only thing Khabibulin is going to win at his age is a drinking contest, and then proceed to get caught driving home after his victory to win something else, a DUI. Luckily these fantasy Oilers have Pekka Rinne, well played sir, well played.
5. Red Wings (3-5) previously 4 - These fantasy Red Wings are going to start winning some games when they aren't playing the cream of the crop teams. Until then keep your head up high and eyes forward. If you do that you probably won't see Zetterberg crying on the floor of a cold shower pleading with the hockey gods to let him score a goal. 5 goals on 89 shots for a .05 shooting percentage will do that to any man.
6. $Blues$ (5-3) previously 5 - He's back! David Perron, 1 game, 1 goal, on pace for like 60 goals now. Hopefully his teammates learned their lesson and have stopped their post game ritual of pillow fights, or at least limit it to body shots only and no freezing them beforehand.
7. $Avalanche$ (5-3) previously 8 - Traded Chris Stewart to bring in Evgeni Malkin. I feel like getting Malkin was a massive win, and I hate/respect you for it. Just think of Camalleri starts to play like he has a pair this team could be as good as the Bruins. Luckily for the rest of us Camalleri hasn't played like that since 3D movies still sounded awesome, i.e. 3 years ago.
8. $Ducks$ (6-2) previously 6 - Besides Eric Staal, Dubinsky has to be up there in biggest disappointments. Rangers bring in a pass happy all-star center and Dubinsky responds with a wildly underwhelming 1 goal in 23 games. Take that pride!
9. Flyers (2-6) previously 9 - This team has just been butchered by a buzz saw every single week. They are currently getting the most fantasy points scored against them and not even by a little amount. 1360 against them and the next most points against is 1216 by the Red Wings. May the tradition continue where the Flyers are besieged by potent fantasy clubs every week until we drive them into a mental breakdown. The same breakdown Papps is going to have if Bryzgalov doesn't up his save % from .900, ouch.
10. Leafs (4-4) previously 11 - Leafs could be one of the top teams if they had 2 starting goalies. In that vein I will trade Ondrej Pavelec, straight up, for Phil Kessel. Eh? (small print of trade *any response by jmtrops is a binding agreement*)
11. Kings (4-4) previously 10 - If he was in the political world Jonas Hiller would've commited political suicide by completely blaming his defense for him giving up 4 goals or more in half of the games this year. The battle cry of Kaner! is becoming one of the few bright spots. That and Quick is putting up identical numbers to Thomas' Vezina season last year.
12. Capitals (3-5) previously 14 - A brand spanking new coach and the same old stale game for the Capitals. Ovechkin once considered the best player in the world isn't even the best player on his team anymore. Nick Backstrom in the house wearing the man pants!
13. $Canucks$ (5-3) previously 18 - I didn't know Cory Schneider was a ginger and then I realized the Canucks are cursed. Luongo is never going to win them a Stanley Cup, you know because he folds like fresh laundry under pressure, and does anyone else remember a ginger goalie hoisting the cup? I don't even remember a ginger goalie....
14. $Stars$ (5-3) previously 15 - Tomas Kaberle might be the softest least physical hockey player since... any hockey player that just got knocked out and is falling to the ice. A power play expert is currently captaining that Hurricanes power play to 28th in the league. Solid.
15. Sharks (4-4) previously 12 - Guillaume Latendresse life is Groundhog Day. Another season of hockey another lingering, probably, season ruining injury. And yet the Sharks plod along on the shoulders of young Derek Stepan. 10 years younger than Brad Richards, 7 million dollars cheaper, and only 7 points behind him. Nice scouting Shelby.
16. Penguins (3-5) previously 17 - Crosby is back and this team starts its march to post season glory. If I were a woman I'd kiss him right on the mouth. Hell, If I were a little bit buzzed I'd kiss him right on the mouth. God Bless America was actually written about Sidney Crosby. Not the words so much, but the emotions.
17. Canadiens (3-5) previously 16 - It has got to be easy to be a sports writer in Montreal. You just pull out the same story you've written about every year for the last 3 years "Andrei Markov will be missing time due to knee surgery". Then sit back and sip on some hot cocoa while enjoying free health insurance.
18. Sabres (3-5) previously 13 - What wears blue and gold and is black and blue all over? Ryan Miller. You can say what you want about the Lucic hit, but Miller got annihilated by Tootoo, on purpose. If he doesn't get 5 plus games then they might as well just put goalies in a room with hungry dogs between periods to get them ready for the hurt of playing in the game.
19. Lightning(2-6) previously 19 - How many stanley cups do you think Kiprusoff would have if he played with the Red Wings in the mid 2000's instead of Osgood? Instead he has been the only reason the Flames are mediocre for the last 5 years. Also where did Eric Nystrom come from? He is going to have more goals in half of this season then the last 4 years combined.
20. Flames (1-7) previously 20 - At least Gilly knows when to tear down a dilapidated team and build it anew. Your long journey starts one small victory at a time.... no matter how small or whatever that victory might be.
3103
« on: December 02, 2011, 04:01:53 PM »
Is it me or do Claude Julien, Bruce Boudreau, and Barry Trotz all look almost exactly the same? The NHL needs to diversify their coaches a bit more. Put Wayne Gretzky's daughter behind the bench to even out the eye sores.
3104
« on: November 22, 2011, 01:59:46 PM »
Looking for a top RW. I have plenty of good scoring D-men and centers
3105
« on: November 22, 2011, 01:47:59 PM »
Now that the tie breaker is Fantasy Points For the Power Rankings are more relevant then ever because it'll show who is in and who is out. Playoff teams will be denoted by $ around the name (not official)
1. $Blackhawks$ (5-1) still number 1 - The rest of us can gather in some kind of wikken circle and cast a spell to create a weakness in the Blackhawks. After this year any player that has a good year will be called the second coming of Versteeg.
2. $Hurricanes$ (3-3) still number 2 - Ryan Whitney says he is frustrated with all of his injuries. That makes at least a couple thousand of us. My team mirrors the Panthers well. Last year if you said the best player on your team was Stephen Weiss you'd be looking at a lottery pick. This year maybe the playoffs.
3. $Bruins$ (4-2) still number 3 - A sleeping giant has awoken. You know you are rolling when Chris Kelly is averaging almost a point a game. If you havn't watched the Bruins Bear commercials they are fantastic. "Never date within your division"
There is a 100 point difference between the Bruins and the next team, whose group will be called Tier 2
4. Red Wings (2-4) previous 10 - So many points, so few wins. Mike Babcock better be looking at alternate methods of coaching, i.e. injecting Lidstrom, Datsyuk, and Zetterberg with HGH so they play like they are 30 again.
5. $Blues$ (4-2) previous 9th - Spring might be the time for love but November is the time for concussion symptoms to end. Welcome back to the light Perron may you live long and prosper.
6. $Ducks$ (5-1) previous 6th - Beantown should be a real life GM. He somehow foresaw the massively disappointing collapse of the Ducks and traded away most of them. Well done sir, well done indeed. Parise must be pissed he had to go to arbitration to earn 6m this year, and he is showing the Devils he deserved alot less.
7. Oilers (2-4) previous 5th - With any young team you are going to have your peaks and valleys. They peaked all over me a few weeks ago and don't show any signs of slowing down. A team with guys nicknamed (perhaps by me only) Pekker and the Nudge have to be winners.
8. $Avalanche$ (3-3) previous 12th - Malkin is so good he makes Steve Sullivan, a man so adverse to shooting he passes on a penalty shot, score goals by shooting it off of Sullivan's stick. Also, Marty Brodeur looks old.... Go out with dignity man! He is the Brett Favre of NHL goalies. He'll own every record and then send a dick pick to 1 reporter and that is all anyone will remember him for.
9. Flyers (2-4) previous 4th - Max Pacioretty is the real deal folks and Derrick Brassard is not. The Blue Jackets were so desperate to be relevant they traded for a guy who has played with a broken foot for 2 years. Then of course he has to miss 2 weeks right when they needed him most. Welcome back Jeff Carter, way to drag another franchise down.
10. $Kings$ (3-3) previous 11th - Blake Comeau got scratched against the Penguins and the Islanders once again display a genius approach to managing their players. Sit the guys who have the talent to score goals and play them on the 3rd line. They got shut out and have won twice in like 14 games. The rest of these fantasy Kings are good, they are a team to watch.
11. $Leafs$ (3-3) previous 8th - Everyone who had a good year last year is terrible this year and vice versa. If only they could all get on the same page they could be a 9th seed. Phil Kessel's face is replacing barbwire as the new tattoo people regret after they sober up.
12. $Sharks$ (4-2) previous 15th - Guillaume Latendresse got in the best shape of his hockey career after his coach said he was fat last year and he gets a concussion. Some people God just doesn't like seeing succeed.
13. Sabres (3-3) previous 17th - Another Sabres riddle for you: Who, after getting concussed by a man dressed as a bear wakes up to be playing for a different team? Ryan Miller after Enroth makes him obsolete.
14. Capitals (3-3) previous 7th - Is it still a question who the best player in the world is? Ovechkin has been neutered by a 60 year old bald man who looks like fleshy bowling ball. Maybe after they flame out in the playoffs they will finally get rid of the guy at the center of their problems, Barrack Obama (the news tells me he is the problem with everything).
15. $Stars$ (5-1) previous 18th - Tarheels is thinking the same thing the Jets are thinking "Should've kept Lehtonen" and "taco bell sounds amazing".
16. Canadiens (2-4) previous 16th - Dustin Penner is like sex in a hot tub, only good as an idea and in reality it is just awkward/uncomfortable and can still get someone pregnant.
17. Penguins (1-5) previous 13th - If no one else lives in Pittsburgh there is a new thing that has come to be known as "Crosbying". After a ridiculous 2nd shift that resulted in a goal he screamed "F*@* Yeah!". So people all over the city are submitting pictures/videos of themselves "Crosbying". The best was a man got his 3 year old daughter to do it which won him some concert tickets.
18. Canucks (3-3) previous 14th - When I come in to work drunk and under perform it is called a hangover. The Canucks are experiencing what some people call a Stanley Cup hangover. Sports stars get all the good excuses. Jagr is finally injured, may it be the first of many.
19. Lightning (2-4) previous 19th - The Devils tried a similar strategy the year they traded for Kovalchuk where they don't have enough people to fill 6 defensive spots. It didn't work out for them and now it isn't working for the Lightning. Watch out next year when that cap space could land him some solid D-men.
20. Flames (1-5) previous 20th - Their recent trade brought them in some nice young talent and.... a starting goalie!!
3106
« on: November 21, 2011, 03:58:00 PM »
What is the tiebreaker between 2 teams? It appears that more than a few teams might end up with the same record. Would you just go by the most amount of Fantasy Points For. That would seem like it is the easiest.
3107
« on: November 17, 2011, 10:31:21 PM »
2 years at 200k
3108
« on: November 15, 2011, 05:05:49 PM »
400k
3109
« on: November 10, 2011, 04:46:39 PM »
Hey, maybe we bump it to 10 total teams in the playoffs. Half of the NHL teams make the playoffs why not half of ours?
3110
« on: November 07, 2011, 11:42:42 AM »
Still going by "Fantasy Points For"
1. Blackhawks (3-1) still top dog - A perfect example of how you can win in spite of someone. *cough*steve mason*sneeze* If I was as bad as he is at my job they'd send me to the minors (unemployment)
2. Hurricanes (2-2) previous 5th - Still working out the cost, but it is time to put Eric Staal's picture on the back of milk cartons. A -16 in 14 games with 5 points, a cardboard cutout of Staal could perform better (that's what his wife said).
3. Bruins (2-2) previous 8th - Just like I predicted the Bruins are on the rise. Tim Thomas is a freak. They are going to start selling his blood as a cure all in 3rd world countries and he'll be Viagra's new spokesperson.
4. Flyers (2-2) previous 7th - There is something about putting on a Flyers jersey that makes a goalie become completely average. Say hello to mediocrity and fans hating you even when you win for the next 9 years Bryz.
5. Oilers (2-2) previous 14th - Quite literally Souray outscored 12 people on my team Sunday to beat me. Not he had more points then 12 people individually, but 12 people combined. I can't wait for him to fight Iginla and he breaks his hand on Iginla's face again.
6. Ducks (3-1) previous 11th - I'm glad I could play the mother figure that sent Karlsson off to become a man (norris trophy candidate) for another team. This just in Fleischman wasn't massively overpaid in real life and BeanTown practically stole that guy in our league.
7. Capitals (3-1) previous 2nd - Not really sure how they even lost a game, but fantrax says they have 80 more points than any other team. That must've been awful to see all those points sitting on your bench night after night.
8. Leafs (2-2) previous 3rd - Brian Burke's latest entry in his dream book went like this "Kessel is singing Born in America dressed in nothing but an American flag, scoring goals on Carey Price while skating on frozen bed of maple syrup". He woke up relieved he didn't throw away two 1st round picks for the first time in a long time.
9. Blues (2-2) previous 12th - Lundqvist is still the only player that likes winning on the Rangers. Don't drink the water in St. Louis as it predisposes people to concussions. And I thought the Penguins had bad luck with injuries.
10. Red Wings (2-2) previous 4th - A mash up of the best between the Red Wings and Islanders teams = a potent fantasy squad *revision* The first 2 weeks of the year.
11. Kings (2-2) previous 6th - A typical day for Drew Doughty. Receive a very large check from the Los Angeles Kings. Go skate around lethargically as you imagine yourself jumping into a pile of money like Scrooge McDuck. Snap back to reality as an opponent skates past you with the puck. Lucky for him Quick is.... quick.
12. Avalanche (2-2) previous 19th - Malkin is back!! Let the wins start pouring in like champagne off a playoff beard. Also, David Legwand has reached hockey maturity at the age of 31. When he dies he will be dissected to figure out what the hell took so long.
13. Penguins (1-3) previous 10th - They only have a wingers that can score goals. James *leopard seal* Neal and Marian *my groin feels tight* Gaborik
14. Canucks (2-2) previous 13th - They need to hire a psychiatrist, a mathematician, and an exorcist to figure out how 4 goalies can't produce as well as 2.
15. Sharks (3-1) previous 17th - FINALLY! Joe Paterno has got to quit, retire, get fired, go to jail to pave the way for Pavelski to use the nickname Joe Pa. Thornton shouldn't feel bad Heatly can't score with any All-Star center.
16. Canadiens (0-4) previous 15th - The Bulin Wall is back and no one likes being associated with a tragic period of time for the rest of their hockey career quite as much as ole Nikolai.
17. Sabres (2-2) previous 9th - Here is a riddle for you. Who, when playing 2nd line minutes doesn't play at all? Answer: Derek Roy
18. Stars (3-1) previous 16th - When you best player is 39 years old, Ray Whitney, and the game isn't golf you are in trouble.
19. Lightning (2-2) previous 18th - So many goalies, so little starting positions. Congrats on inheriting the 19th best team SplendidSplinter. May your reign be long and prosperous.
20. Flames (0-4) previous 20th - Ruggedly consistent, a bookend to this league just like the Hawks, except while the Hawks are a beautiful visage the Flames are..... not.
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