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Dynasty NHL: History / 1/4TH OF THE WAY THERE POWER RANKINGS
« on: February 12, 2013, 11:12:12 AM »
So.... basically...... my power rankings from the beginning were spot on. The Blues are unstoppable, Red Wings score all the points and the Oilers are a money team. Now the season has started these rankings are based on Fantasy Points For and my interpretation of how luck has played a part. Orange teams are current playoff teams.
1. Detroit Red Wings (6-0) - Undefeated and in charge of the leagues top spot. These Red Wings are just like their real life counter part. Their blue liners are nearly worthless and are just there because you need 5 people on the ice in front of the goalie. The forwards play a mean game of however many goals you can score we can score more. Brunner's man love affair with Zetterberg across the Atlantic is paying off big time back State side. Hodgson hit the hockey equivalent of the power ball when he was paired with early season dominator/late season collapser Vanek.
2. St. Louis Blues (5-1) - Their only defeat was to a pack of vampire Velociraptor ninjas or something. Even with Jason Spezza switching bodies with Daniel Alfredsson and being diagnosed with geriatric back, just like in that deleted scene from Freaky Friday (i know you've all seen it), requiring surgery these Blues march on.
3. Carolina Hurricanes (4-2) - Jeff Skinner laughs in the face of previous concussion problems while pumping in goal after goal. Eric Staal is clearly trying his hardest at hockey again, so he gets first dibs on macaroni salad at family picnics. Even though I think Bruce Boudreau looks like a pale unathletic Thing from Fantastic Four he did realize putting Bobby Ryan on the 3rd line was stupid and playing him with good players is smart.
4. Anaheim Mighty Ducks (5-1) - All those young kids are paying off big time. Conacher, Turris, Schenn, Seguin, Schultz, Grabner are all playing lights out early on. With a shortened season there probably isn't any hope of them hitting some kind of rookie wall since some of them have played full years and none of them have my endurance after an all you can eat wings buffet.
5. Chicago Blackhawks (5-1) - Their 3-headed goalie monster is just devouring foes. Steve Mason still sucks, but he keeps getting starts. Mason has to have some serious black mail material on the owners, like Dan Marino child on the side kind of material.
6. Colorado Avalanche (4-2) - I am going to savage the Avalanche this week. Beat them so bad they are forced to trade me their best player for my worst just to pay off the embarrassment. If ever there was a disappointing player that is averaging over a point a game it is Evgeni Malkin. He badly needs a 3rd line mate that isn't some waiver wire pickup from a non-playoff caliber team. The deft signing of Viktor Fasth is becoming the stuff of legends as he pushes Hiller to the brink of death by swiss chocolate.
7. Edmonton Oilers (5-1) - I thought Rinne was going to carry this team, but the Oilers own Dubnyk is looking like Tom Barrasso out there. He is facing 35+ shots a night and giving his team the confidence to play with reckless abandon. Vrbata is constantly the little engine that everyone forgets about, but continues to put up points in spite of them (a terrible book name, but powerful message).
8. Tampa Bay Lightning (2-4) - This is the last place team in the Central/East and they have the 8th most points. 5 teams in the top 8. Ridiculous. They got absolutely jobbed by mother nature canceling one of their games last week or they would be 3-3. The last person to be screwed that hard would be every NHL fan that went through the lockout to come out of it and be handed game after game of inconsistent terrible referring. Apparently boarding penalties are called every time someone is hit into the boards now. Yuck.
9. Toronto Maple Leafs (2-4) - What the what! Brian Burke has to be pissed! They fire him and then the team he put together is off and racing now. A team full of young guys he brought in are playing lights out. Reimer was back to being the golden gift from the lord he was to Toronto, before injuring his leg last night. Matt Frattin, Kadri and Bozak are carrying this team. Once Lupul gets back watch out. Who would've though Rick Nash was going to work out in New York? Not me, and I can only hope a losing streak makes Tortorella snap and ostracize Nash for not laying down to block a shot.
10. Buffalo Sabres (2-4) - Thomas Vanek is at nearly 2 points a game clip, Derek Roy isn't awful in Dallas and Jeff Carter is the only person for the Kings scoring goals. This Sabres team is going to put up points, but their lack of a starting goalie is going to be the massive unleapable killer moat to the playoffs.
11. Pittsburgh Penguins (3-3) - Currently the last team in, but first in our hearts. This plucky rag tag team of nobodies like Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, Marian Gaborik, and Marc-Andre Fleury have come out of nowhere. JT Miller has been a boon for the Rangers in his limited role and Kris Letang was playing at a Norris candidate level before hurting his hip lifting up his new born. Which is why I believe women and babies are for the off season only. Even then use them sparingly.
12. Philadelphia Flyers (2-4) - This team can't get no (da na da neer) SATISFACTION! (da na da neer). Really they have zero luck. Last year they were trampled by the highest scoring team ever week and this year the injury bug bit them in their bathing suit area. Hartnell broke his arm reuniting with what he thought were his parents but it was just a utility closet full of mops. Meszaros is almost back from shoulder surgery, a result of being turned inside out by so many forwards and Backlund sprained his knee which you know never fully heals during a season. On a plus JVR is good at hockey and Karlsson's last year was no fluke.
13. Boston Bruins (2-4) - Tim Thomas was traded, so next year these Bruins might have 2 bonafide starters. And that is where I would look, next year, because this year is going to be rough. They will always be in the playoff hunt due to the wild and crazy Northeast division, but their contender status is marred by a lack of top flight scorers. I still like them over the Penguins as Corey Perry has to eventually find his groove. Probably after a road trip where he rooms alone and ends up watching a late night flick, taking some pointers on how Stella got hers back.
14. Los Angeles Kings (3-3) - Imagine Mike Myers and Dana Carvey (do da do; do da do and a dream sequence washes over you). The year is basically 2008 to mid season of 2011 and the Kings had better luck turning their back to a toilet and trying to pee up over top themselves into the bowl without getting any on their face then scoring a goal. (the dream sequence stops) The year is 2013 and the Kings are faced with the exact same problem.
There is a huge point game between 14 and the rest. Not as big as from the Red Wings to #2, which is scary in its own right.
Canucks, Sharks, Capitals, Canadiens, Stars and Jets are stuck in the old ways with most of the same players from their respective original teams, which on a great week they can dominate like the Sharks for the first week, but average that out and they are on the bottom. Lets make some trades and shake up these teams to the top!
1. Detroit Red Wings (6-0) - Undefeated and in charge of the leagues top spot. These Red Wings are just like their real life counter part. Their blue liners are nearly worthless and are just there because you need 5 people on the ice in front of the goalie. The forwards play a mean game of however many goals you can score we can score more. Brunner's man love affair with Zetterberg across the Atlantic is paying off big time back State side. Hodgson hit the hockey equivalent of the power ball when he was paired with early season dominator/late season collapser Vanek.
2. St. Louis Blues (5-1) - Their only defeat was to a pack of vampire Velociraptor ninjas or something. Even with Jason Spezza switching bodies with Daniel Alfredsson and being diagnosed with geriatric back, just like in that deleted scene from Freaky Friday (i know you've all seen it), requiring surgery these Blues march on.
3. Carolina Hurricanes (4-2) - Jeff Skinner laughs in the face of previous concussion problems while pumping in goal after goal. Eric Staal is clearly trying his hardest at hockey again, so he gets first dibs on macaroni salad at family picnics. Even though I think Bruce Boudreau looks like a pale unathletic Thing from Fantastic Four he did realize putting Bobby Ryan on the 3rd line was stupid and playing him with good players is smart.
4. Anaheim Mighty Ducks (5-1) - All those young kids are paying off big time. Conacher, Turris, Schenn, Seguin, Schultz, Grabner are all playing lights out early on. With a shortened season there probably isn't any hope of them hitting some kind of rookie wall since some of them have played full years and none of them have my endurance after an all you can eat wings buffet.
5. Chicago Blackhawks (5-1) - Their 3-headed goalie monster is just devouring foes. Steve Mason still sucks, but he keeps getting starts. Mason has to have some serious black mail material on the owners, like Dan Marino child on the side kind of material.
6. Colorado Avalanche (4-2) - I am going to savage the Avalanche this week. Beat them so bad they are forced to trade me their best player for my worst just to pay off the embarrassment. If ever there was a disappointing player that is averaging over a point a game it is Evgeni Malkin. He badly needs a 3rd line mate that isn't some waiver wire pickup from a non-playoff caliber team. The deft signing of Viktor Fasth is becoming the stuff of legends as he pushes Hiller to the brink of death by swiss chocolate.
7. Edmonton Oilers (5-1) - I thought Rinne was going to carry this team, but the Oilers own Dubnyk is looking like Tom Barrasso out there. He is facing 35+ shots a night and giving his team the confidence to play with reckless abandon. Vrbata is constantly the little engine that everyone forgets about, but continues to put up points in spite of them (a terrible book name, but powerful message).
8. Tampa Bay Lightning (2-4) - This is the last place team in the Central/East and they have the 8th most points. 5 teams in the top 8. Ridiculous. They got absolutely jobbed by mother nature canceling one of their games last week or they would be 3-3. The last person to be screwed that hard would be every NHL fan that went through the lockout to come out of it and be handed game after game of inconsistent terrible referring. Apparently boarding penalties are called every time someone is hit into the boards now. Yuck.
9. Toronto Maple Leafs (2-4) - What the what! Brian Burke has to be pissed! They fire him and then the team he put together is off and racing now. A team full of young guys he brought in are playing lights out. Reimer was back to being the golden gift from the lord he was to Toronto, before injuring his leg last night. Matt Frattin, Kadri and Bozak are carrying this team. Once Lupul gets back watch out. Who would've though Rick Nash was going to work out in New York? Not me, and I can only hope a losing streak makes Tortorella snap and ostracize Nash for not laying down to block a shot.
10. Buffalo Sabres (2-4) - Thomas Vanek is at nearly 2 points a game clip, Derek Roy isn't awful in Dallas and Jeff Carter is the only person for the Kings scoring goals. This Sabres team is going to put up points, but their lack of a starting goalie is going to be the massive unleapable killer moat to the playoffs.
11. Pittsburgh Penguins (3-3) - Currently the last team in, but first in our hearts. This plucky rag tag team of nobodies like Sidney Crosby, Jordan Staal, Marian Gaborik, and Marc-Andre Fleury have come out of nowhere. JT Miller has been a boon for the Rangers in his limited role and Kris Letang was playing at a Norris candidate level before hurting his hip lifting up his new born. Which is why I believe women and babies are for the off season only. Even then use them sparingly.
12. Philadelphia Flyers (2-4) - This team can't get no (da na da neer) SATISFACTION! (da na da neer). Really they have zero luck. Last year they were trampled by the highest scoring team ever week and this year the injury bug bit them in their bathing suit area. Hartnell broke his arm reuniting with what he thought were his parents but it was just a utility closet full of mops. Meszaros is almost back from shoulder surgery, a result of being turned inside out by so many forwards and Backlund sprained his knee which you know never fully heals during a season. On a plus JVR is good at hockey and Karlsson's last year was no fluke.
13. Boston Bruins (2-4) - Tim Thomas was traded, so next year these Bruins might have 2 bonafide starters. And that is where I would look, next year, because this year is going to be rough. They will always be in the playoff hunt due to the wild and crazy Northeast division, but their contender status is marred by a lack of top flight scorers. I still like them over the Penguins as Corey Perry has to eventually find his groove. Probably after a road trip where he rooms alone and ends up watching a late night flick, taking some pointers on how Stella got hers back.
14. Los Angeles Kings (3-3) - Imagine Mike Myers and Dana Carvey (do da do; do da do and a dream sequence washes over you). The year is basically 2008 to mid season of 2011 and the Kings had better luck turning their back to a toilet and trying to pee up over top themselves into the bowl without getting any on their face then scoring a goal. (the dream sequence stops) The year is 2013 and the Kings are faced with the exact same problem.
There is a huge point game between 14 and the rest. Not as big as from the Red Wings to #2, which is scary in its own right.
Canucks, Sharks, Capitals, Canadiens, Stars and Jets are stuck in the old ways with most of the same players from their respective original teams, which on a great week they can dominate like the Sharks for the first week, but average that out and they are on the bottom. Lets make some trades and shake up these teams to the top!
