POWER RANKINGS 11-21-2011

[GypsieDeathBringer]

Now that the tie breaker is Fantasy Points For the Power Rankings are more relevant then ever because it'll show who is in and who is out.  Playoff teams will be denoted by $ around the name (not official)

1. $Blackhawks$ (5-1) still number 1 - The rest of us can gather in some kind of wikken circle and cast a spell to create a weakness in the Blackhawks.  After this year any player that has a good year will be called the second coming of Versteeg.

2. $Hurricanes$ (3-3) still number 2 - Ryan Whitney says he is frustrated with all of his injuries.  That makes at least a couple thousand of us.  My team mirrors the Panthers well.  Last year if you said the best player on your team was Stephen Weiss you'd be looking at a lottery pick.  This year maybe the playoffs.

3. $Bruins$ (4-2) still number 3 - A sleeping giant has awoken.  You know you are rolling when Chris Kelly is averaging almost a point a game.  If you havn't watched the Bruins Bear commercials they are fantastic.  "Never date within your division"

There is a 100 point difference between the Bruins and the next team, whose group will be called Tier 2

4. Red Wings (2-4) previous 10 - So many points, so few wins.  Mike Babcock better be looking at alternate methods of coaching, i.e. injecting Lidstrom, Datsyuk, and Zetterberg with HGH so they play like they are 30 again.

5. $Blues$ (4-2) previous 9th - Spring might be the time for love but November is the time for concussion symptoms to end.  Welcome back to the light Perron may you live long and prosper.

6. $Ducks$ (5-1) previous 6th - Beantown should be a real life GM.  He somehow foresaw the massively disappointing collapse of the Ducks and traded away most of them.  Well done sir, well done indeed.  Parise must be pissed he had to go to arbitration to earn 6m this year, and he is showing the Devils he deserved alot less.

7. Oilers (2-4) previous 5th - With any young team you are going to have your peaks and valleys.  They peaked all over me a few weeks ago and don't show any signs of slowing down.  A team with guys nicknamed (perhaps by me only) Pekker and the Nudge have to be winners. 

8. $Avalanche$ (3-3) previous 12th - Malkin is so good he makes Steve Sullivan, a man so adverse to shooting he passes on a penalty shot, score goals by shooting it off of Sullivan's stick.  Also, Marty Brodeur looks old....  Go out with dignity man!  He is the Brett Favre of NHL goalies.  He'll own every record and then send a dick pick to 1 reporter and that is all anyone will remember him for.

9. Flyers (2-4) previous 4th - Max Pacioretty is the real deal folks and Derrick Brassard is not.  The Blue Jackets were so desperate to be relevant they traded for a guy who has played with a broken foot for 2 years.  Then of course he has to miss 2 weeks right when they needed him most.  Welcome back Jeff Carter, way to drag another franchise down. 

10. $Kings$ (3-3) previous 11th - Blake Comeau got scratched against the Penguins and the Islanders once again display a genius approach to managing their players.  Sit the guys who have the talent to score goals and play them on the 3rd line.  They got shut out and have won twice in like 14 games.  The rest of these fantasy Kings are good, they are a team to watch.

11. $Leafs$ (3-3) previous 8th - Everyone who had a good year last year is terrible this year and vice versa.  If only they could all get on the same page they could be a 9th seed.  Phil Kessel's face is replacing barbwire as the new tattoo people regret after they sober up.

12. $Sharks$ (4-2) previous 15th - Guillaume Latendresse got in the best shape of his hockey career after his coach said he was fat last year and he gets a concussion.  Some people God just doesn't like seeing succeed.

13. Sabres (3-3) previous 17th - Another Sabres riddle for you: Who, after getting concussed by a man dressed as a bear wakes up to be playing for a different team?  Ryan Miller after Enroth makes him obsolete.

14. Capitals (3-3) previous 7th - Is it still a question who the best player in the world is?  Ovechkin has been neutered by a 60 year old bald man who looks like fleshy bowling ball.  Maybe after they flame out in the playoffs they will finally get rid of the guy at the center of their problems, Barrack Obama (the news tells me he is the problem with everything).

15. $Stars$ (5-1) previous 18th - Tarheels is thinking the same thing the Jets are thinking "Should've kept Lehtonen" and "taco bell sounds amazing".

16. Canadiens (2-4) previous 16th - Dustin Penner is like sex in a hot tub, only good as an idea and in reality it is just awkward/uncomfortable and can still get someone pregnant.

17. Penguins (1-5) previous 13th - If no one else lives in Pittsburgh there is a new thing that has come to be known as "Crosbying".  After a ridiculous 2nd shift that resulted in a goal he screamed "F*@* Yeah!".  So people all over the city are submitting pictures/videos of themselves "Crosbying".  The best was a man got his 3 year old daughter to do it which won him some concert tickets. 

18. Canucks (3-3) previous 14th - When I come in to work drunk and under perform it is called a hangover. The Canucks are experiencing what some people call a Stanley Cup hangover.    Sports stars get all the good excuses. Jagr is finally injured, may it be the first of many.

19. Lightning (2-4) previous 19th - The Devils tried a similar strategy the year they traded for Kovalchuk where they don't have enough people to fill 6 defensive spots.  It didn't work out for them and now it isn't working for the Lightning.  Watch out next year when that cap space could land him some solid D-men.

20. Flames (1-5) previous 20th - Their recent trade brought them in some nice young talent and.... a starting goalie!! 

[BeanTown]

Wow.... god a damn good laugh outta that. Well done as always Gypsie!

I'm goignt o  start doing my resumes for my NHL GM job now!!!! Can I use you as a reference?

[Rob]

Oh I was sooooo close to that #2 spot!

Haha, well done Corey, you're like the Filthy Critic of DNHL Power Rankings, love it!

Dustin Penner is like sex in a hot tub, only good as an idea and in reality it is just awkward/uncomfortable and can still get someone pregnant.

 

[Rob]

You should do some NHL blogging for ProFSL:  http://www.profsl.com/smf/index.php?board=1073.0

[snugerud]

Watch out Chicago,  the Avs are slowly working their way from 2nd to last to first place here. 

And yes great post Corey

[Anthony]

Watch out Chicago,  the Avs are slowly working their way from 2nd to last to first place here. 

you wish haha

[snugerud]

better start shaking things up chicago,  i made up some more ground this week. 

Nice to have you back Malkin. 

[Rob]

better start shaking things up chicago,  i made up some more ground this week. 

Nice to have you back Malkin.

and lost Lehtonen.  Ruh Roh!

[Anthony]

and lost Lehtonen.  Ruh Roh!

and Mason is backup now. wow

[snugerud]

knowing Lehtonen's history that 3 weeks is going to turn into 6.  I had him in my pool last year, was biting my fingernails all year just waiting for him to go down with a injury.