My company has finally gotten to the point where we are taking down the dome on the old Civic Arena here in Pittsburgh. If you see a video of the section that falls, each "leaf" weighs 220 tons or roughly 1 million killograms (i don't know how to use that metric system, but assume I am correct). Pretty cool stuff. Orange teams are still in the playoffs.
1. $Carolina Hurricanes$ (10-6) - previous 1 - Daniel Alfredsson is my team's MVP, the real All-Star MVP and the MVP for all mustached gingers. I should also sing a farewell song to the #1 spot as it is a forgone conclusion the Red Wings will be snaking it from me. "I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moment's gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes, a curiosity, dust in the wind. ALL WE ARE IS DUST IN THE WIND".
2. $Detroit Red Wings$ (9-7) - previous 3 - I was going to put a pox on you and your team, but after seeing Datsyuk's head at the all-star game it looks like he is sick enough for everyone. If anyone has seen the fantastically horrible movie "Pumpkin head" the main protagonist and Datsyuk could be kin.
3. $Boston Bruins$ (9-7) - previous 2 - They got butchered by the Leafs in the short week. I havn't seen a beating like that since my friends and I got drunk and bought a pinata. No worries though Corey Perry was woken up by the sun glaring off of something a couple weeks ago and was inspired to play real hockey. It was either the Hart Trophy or Bruce Boudrea's head.
4. $Colorado Avalanche$ (9-7) - previous 4 - How is this team not sitting pretty in the playoffs? I blame it on Martin Brodeur. Watching him play is like watching the very real and very sad decomposition of a hall of famer. Maybe he needs "Touch of Grey". The guys in those commercials always "performed" better afterwards.
5. $Chicago Blackhawks$ (13-3) - previous 5 - The 1.5m dollar question is whether or not Andrew Shaw is going to be relevant once Patrick Sharp comes back. My gut wants to say no, but it is full of taco bell right now and having issues. We'll see in 2 weeks.
6. $St. Louis Blues$ (10-6) - previous 6 - Everyone is clamoring to give Ken Hitchock the Jack Adams, but how about giving all the previous Blues coaches some recognition. That recognition is...... being the worst coaches every year award because this has been the same exact team for 5 years now. Lets see if Stamkos can keep up his torrid goal scoring pace or fade like he did last year.
7. $Anaheim Ducks$ (12-4) - previous 7 - Tyler Seguin is leading the league in plus minus and being remembered as getting the most plum draft pick ever. Who gets picked 2nd overall and then wins the stanley cup in their rookie year? The answer is whoever Tom Brady touches and turns to gold.
8. Philadelphia Flyers (5-11) - previous 8 - Ilya Bryzgalov has clearly taken a page from Huet and just phoned it in after getting a big flashy new contract. Lets raise a glass to seeing him play next year in the AHL and then Russia. Personally I'd pull a "Semi-Pro" move and trade him for a new washer and dryer.
9. $Dallas Stars$ (11-5) - previous 11 - Craig Anderson has been ripping it up this year and these Dallas Stars have 6 wins in a row, which has to be up there for a league record. It looks like nothing can stand in their way as this has been preordained for centuries by Zeus, even though gods are not supposed to interfere with the lives of men. Totally unfair!
10. Edmonton Oilers (6-10) - previous 12 - The Oilers are getting healthy and RNH will be back on the ice soon. I predict disappointment...
11. Los Angeles Kings (8-8) - previous 13 - The Kings have the world's most accurate shooter in Jamie Benn, and Jonas Hiller is 6-1-1 in his last 8. I would assume that would indicate a trend of upward movement in these rankings, but I've been wrong before, i.e. once hit on a very attractive transvestite.
12. $Vancouver Canucks$ (10-6) - previous 9 - The Sedins might be virtually identical in stats and amount of love from their parents, but Daniel Sedin is the favorite son in fantasy leagues. In my head I imagine their wives wanting to be with the other brother. Just a thought.
13. $San Jose Sharks$ (10-6) - previous 9 - Halak is starting to play more then a 2nd year back up, so the Sharks are going to lose some big time point production in Elliot. It is ok though Latandresse is coming off the IR. He'll play a great 10 games and then succumb to a myriad of injuries all at once crushing all hopes that were raised.
The following teams should trade me their best players for peanuts in hope they can win next year: SOS call
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14. Washington Capitals (6-10) - previous 15 - SOS
15. Toronto Maple Leafs (8-8) - previous 14 - you still have a chance, keep your players close to your vest and don't let anyone see them. Except for Rick Nash, waive him loud and proud and hope a real life NHL team sees it and trades for him. That is the only way he can be rescued off the sinking ship that is the Blue Jackets and Ohio.
16. Pittsburgh Penguins (4-12) - previous 16 - SOS *we both know you are just playing a mean game of rope a dope and will be making a meteoric rise to the top very soon*
17. Buffalo Sabres (6-10) - previous 17 - SOS
18. Montreal Canadiens (6-10) - previous 18 - SOS
19. Tampa Bay Lightning (6-10) - previous 19 - SOS
20. Calgary Flames (2-14) - previous 20 - SOS
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